This is a challenge.
Aug. 20th, 2011 08:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lunarkeysHello, Dreamwidth! I'd like to thank Feathertail for allowing me to have an account here, and this site for existing so that silly people like me have a chance at expressing their thoughts and ideas.
Since the first post of every journal seems to be an introduction of some sort, I suppose I'll oblige with a batch of random tidbits about me.
First, I go by Keys. 'Lunar' was added as a nod to the Luminari, a race I invented for the purpose of a roleplaying universe. The Luminari - and I - are nocturnal by default, and thus 'Lunar' seemed an appropriate addition to 'Keys' as a username.
Also, 'Keys' is generally too short for message boards and journals. Drat.
Two, I am, above all else, an entertainer.
When I'm alone, I'm browsing the internet and educating myself on issues in the world of electronics, with video games being my main focus. Sometimes, I toy with my iPod or my Xbox 360. But mostly, I am about as quiet and unassuming as one can be. I mumble, I stare at the floor, and I generally barricade myself in my room if I'm not obligated to chat with my roommates.
However, when I sign onto Trillian or go out with friends, I'm Keys again! I am hyperactive and optimistic and full of inspiration and ideas. I will roleplay with three people at the same time, create characters, locations, and worlds, and write plots with people. I will inspire others, comfort those having a hard time, and push others to greatness. I am confident and happy with myself and delighted every day that I am alive.
Keys me believes life is fantastic and is joyful where he is.
Real-life me, however, knows better.
When I was in school, I was the top performer. I aced every test, every class, and was the teacher's pet through every grade. In elementary school, I championed the Accelerated Reader program and read 76 books over the course of fifth grade. In middle school, I was the top student in computers and was assigned to a team that had exclusive access to the 'multimedia lab', a glorious place with the best technology had to offer (They had laserdisc players at the time!) We made presentations in Hyperstudio and got to present them at a major multimedia convention with hundreds of the brightest and best students in the country.
In high school, I was scoring a 4.3 GPA and coasting through classes. I commandeered my Creative Writing class into making a newspaper. I helped make the book that the school published each year with the best writing they had to offer. I graduated with honors. When I walked into college, I was on top of the world.
Now?
Well, now I'm 24, and I'm working at Wal-Mart while trying to figure out to pay off medical bills that will have me stuck in debt until 2012.
I often find myself staring at the ceiling, pondering the obvious.
What happened?
I got lazy.
When middle school became high school, my family moved from California to Texas, and the school stopped challenging me. The instructors generally were just trying to get through the day, and I felt that if I could get As while putting in the least effort possible, then I'd just do that and play video games (Starcraft, mostly) I realized that if I put in even less effort - perhaps an hour a day for homework and studying - then I'd scrape a few Bs in between my As and have even more time to play games. Slowly, but, unfortunately, surely, this became a lifestyle. I coasted. I worked a semi-steady job and enjoyed my newfound wealth, all while disregarding school. I spent less time studying and maintaining my work ethic than I did challenging myself.
When I moved from high school to college, I was hit by culture shock. My work ethic had grown shoddy, and universities had better things to do than teach a lazy student. I dropped out, worked retail, then eventually struggled through an Associate's, grumbling all the way. I resolved to get better, and saved my money for a year before moving up north. I rented a house with several good friends of mine and started work on a business. I wanted to make video games - preferably for PC, but I'd start on iOS and Android until I had the funds to move onto big projects.
And...then...I stalled. I sketched out an outline that should've taken days - it was five months before I completed it. I goofed off and whittled away the funds I had saved. And when the funds ran out, I shrugged, picked up my old retail clothing, and went back to work.
Since then, that's what I've been doing. I've been collecting a paycheck that disappears into rent and food - and the occasional bit of entertainment. Eighteen years of education, and I'm working at Wal-Mart.
'Don't worry, it'll get better!', says the optimistic part of my brain.
'Prove it.', comes the retort.
Well, then! This is me attempting to prove it.
I am going to write in this journal a few times a week, chronicling my efforts to get back to what I used to be like. My objectives are:
- Rewrite Scoundrels and Liberators, the novel I started last year.
- Revive 'Sometimes, when we dream', the blog I started to catalog all the ideas I'd like to write or roleplay.
- Get out of Wal-Mart and into a job that lets me pay off my debts and start saving to make my business happen.
- Finish a complete outline of the current game I'm working on (Will describe in a later post)
- Start the business with my newfound savings.
We'll see what happens!
Good luck, self.
Since the first post of every journal seems to be an introduction of some sort, I suppose I'll oblige with a batch of random tidbits about me.
First, I go by Keys. 'Lunar' was added as a nod to the Luminari, a race I invented for the purpose of a roleplaying universe. The Luminari - and I - are nocturnal by default, and thus 'Lunar' seemed an appropriate addition to 'Keys' as a username.
Also, 'Keys' is generally too short for message boards and journals. Drat.
Two, I am, above all else, an entertainer.
When I'm alone, I'm browsing the internet and educating myself on issues in the world of electronics, with video games being my main focus. Sometimes, I toy with my iPod or my Xbox 360. But mostly, I am about as quiet and unassuming as one can be. I mumble, I stare at the floor, and I generally barricade myself in my room if I'm not obligated to chat with my roommates.
However, when I sign onto Trillian or go out with friends, I'm Keys again! I am hyperactive and optimistic and full of inspiration and ideas. I will roleplay with three people at the same time, create characters, locations, and worlds, and write plots with people. I will inspire others, comfort those having a hard time, and push others to greatness. I am confident and happy with myself and delighted every day that I am alive.
Keys me believes life is fantastic and is joyful where he is.
Real-life me, however, knows better.
When I was in school, I was the top performer. I aced every test, every class, and was the teacher's pet through every grade. In elementary school, I championed the Accelerated Reader program and read 76 books over the course of fifth grade. In middle school, I was the top student in computers and was assigned to a team that had exclusive access to the 'multimedia lab', a glorious place with the best technology had to offer (They had laserdisc players at the time!) We made presentations in Hyperstudio and got to present them at a major multimedia convention with hundreds of the brightest and best students in the country.
In high school, I was scoring a 4.3 GPA and coasting through classes. I commandeered my Creative Writing class into making a newspaper. I helped make the book that the school published each year with the best writing they had to offer. I graduated with honors. When I walked into college, I was on top of the world.
Now?
Well, now I'm 24, and I'm working at Wal-Mart while trying to figure out to pay off medical bills that will have me stuck in debt until 2012.
I often find myself staring at the ceiling, pondering the obvious.
What happened?
I got lazy.
When middle school became high school, my family moved from California to Texas, and the school stopped challenging me. The instructors generally were just trying to get through the day, and I felt that if I could get As while putting in the least effort possible, then I'd just do that and play video games (Starcraft, mostly) I realized that if I put in even less effort - perhaps an hour a day for homework and studying - then I'd scrape a few Bs in between my As and have even more time to play games. Slowly, but, unfortunately, surely, this became a lifestyle. I coasted. I worked a semi-steady job and enjoyed my newfound wealth, all while disregarding school. I spent less time studying and maintaining my work ethic than I did challenging myself.
When I moved from high school to college, I was hit by culture shock. My work ethic had grown shoddy, and universities had better things to do than teach a lazy student. I dropped out, worked retail, then eventually struggled through an Associate's, grumbling all the way. I resolved to get better, and saved my money for a year before moving up north. I rented a house with several good friends of mine and started work on a business. I wanted to make video games - preferably for PC, but I'd start on iOS and Android until I had the funds to move onto big projects.
And...then...I stalled. I sketched out an outline that should've taken days - it was five months before I completed it. I goofed off and whittled away the funds I had saved. And when the funds ran out, I shrugged, picked up my old retail clothing, and went back to work.
Since then, that's what I've been doing. I've been collecting a paycheck that disappears into rent and food - and the occasional bit of entertainment. Eighteen years of education, and I'm working at Wal-Mart.
'Don't worry, it'll get better!', says the optimistic part of my brain.
'Prove it.', comes the retort.
Well, then! This is me attempting to prove it.
I am going to write in this journal a few times a week, chronicling my efforts to get back to what I used to be like. My objectives are:
- Rewrite Scoundrels and Liberators, the novel I started last year.
- Revive 'Sometimes, when we dream', the blog I started to catalog all the ideas I'd like to write or roleplay.
- Get out of Wal-Mart and into a job that lets me pay off my debts and start saving to make my business happen.
- Finish a complete outline of the current game I'm working on (Will describe in a later post)
- Start the business with my newfound savings.
We'll see what happens!
Good luck, self.
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Advice
Date: 2011-08-21 06:49 pm (UTC)One method of keeping myself on track that I've used for short-term projects is to make a schedule each day. You know, "from 3-4 I'll research this topic, from 4-5 I'll work on art" and so on. I've also used to-do lists for each day with a maximum of three things (at the advice of a counselor). Neither of these methods will work all the time, and if you chose to use either or both, use them as needed for the amount of work you must complete towards your goal with your physical and mental ability to do that work at that time in mind. Ideally, you should try to do something every day to improve your situation.
I know you probably won't want to do this, but once you get out of debt, you should seriously consider getting a Bachelor's in something, even if you finish through an online program. Most formal jobs don't look at an Associate anymore.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-22 07:00 pm (UTC)My desires to do something more are in fact catching up with me, which is one reason I posted that FA journal and am going to post the next part of the story soon. I figure I'm entitled to some relaxation though, for awhile.
Anyway, um, yeah, now I'm going to segue from talking about myself to giving you advice. >.>; Which is to say that if I could tell my younger self anything, it'd be to not worry about his / her projects. You can have the coolest thing in the world planned, but just like you don't know if it'll catch on with its target audience, you don't know if it'll catch on with you either. And you can feel guilty when that happens, but it's really no fun at all.
Good luck either way. >.>b